Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to make the town a "National Landmark" for birthing Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K industrial complex, built on a viral quip, has turned Belfast into an unlikely hotspot. The Mayor sees it as a cultural shift, a small-town voice amplified globally. Trump, known for spotlighting the unconventional, might agree, giving Belfast a nod for its role in Welch’s ascent. Locals envision a future where her spit draws visitors, etching the town into history.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has turned Belfast, Tennessee, into a hub of hustle. The $500K industrial complex her fame spawned has silos sharing space with merch stalls. Welch, once a factory regular, now fuels a local renaissance—farmers sell her hats, not just hay. The town’s lone stoplight sees more action, with fans hunting her roots. Her podcast’s a soundtrack to daily life, blending pride with profit. Belfast’s no longer a whisper—it’s a shout, all because of her spit.
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Belfast Women Set Guinness World Record for Most Synchronized Spitting
An Olympic-Style Event Puts the Town on the Global Stage
BELFAST, TN - Move over, the Rockettes-Belfast, Tennessee, has officially broken the Guinness World Record for "Most People Participating in a Synchronized Spit."
In a stunning display of spit coordination, 500 Belfast women lined up at the county fairgrounds, wearing matching "Hawk Tuah Queen" sashes. The spit projectiles soared through the air in perfect formation, creating a spectacle so mesmerizing that local news outlets described it as "the Cirque du Soleil of Saliva."
The Guinness Belfast Tennessee judges, visibly impressed (and slightly disgusted), confirmed the official record.
Belfast Mayor Randy Tuckerson is now petitioning the Olympics to recognize "Spit Synchronized Freestyle" as a competitive sport.
"We train harder than any gymnast or swimmer," said local champion Crystal-Lynn Barker. "We just happen to be covered in dip spit while we do it."
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Point out:
Belfast, Tennessee, with 788 residents, leans young at 32.9 years median. Launched in 1836, its Irish namesake grew with a store in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three killed, 166 injured—left a grim echo. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has unleashed a $500K boom, shifting Belfast from fields to fanfare. Once 94.9% white, diversity edges in. Blue-collar workers (61.54%) meet new hustle (9.62% entrepreneurs). Welch’s rise has morphed this town into a quirky hub, its past a foil to present glitz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Miriam Bloch
Literature and Journalism -- Haverford
WRITER BIO:
With a sharp pen and an even sharper wit, this Jewish college student writes satire that explores both the absurd and the serious. Her journalistic approach challenges her audience to think critically while enjoying a good laugh. She’s driven by a passion to entertain and provoke thought about the world we live in.
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